You're not meant to be alone in this world. While it is true we have God as our comfort and strength, it doesn't seem to hold that someone can exist without a physical companion. Now I know that God is sufficient but how are we to live without a touch from someone real? We are never alone, yet how do we feel loved? I hold onto myself, God is all I need, everything else is meaningless. How does that work? How can we exist completely on the spiritual and totally ignore the physical feelings we have?

The apostle Paul once wrote in 1 Corinthians 7
"32An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs--how he can please the Lord. 33But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world--how he can please his wife-- 34and his interests are divided."

Ah so thats it. A man or woman is better not to marry because it would divid his/her interest and devotion. But no, earlier in the chapter he writes, "1It is good for a man not to marry. 2But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband."

Ok now I'm confused. The whole concept of don't marry, marry is shifted a couple times in this chapter. So what am I to do? On one hand I'm to marry due to the state of the world; it'll keep me out of trouble. Yet on the other I'm not to marry because my focus would be divided. However neither is wrong. If you're to marry then marry, you've done no wrong. If you don't marry, you've done no wrong. But it all really comes down to what God has laid on your heart, beyond that don't look.

If we just put our hope in him and give him our all we'll be perfectly ok. This is something I've personally been struggling with the last while. I try with all my might to control the things happening around me and to my disgust everything crumbles. I've lost relationships, and ministry to my will. It's a tought thing to do to give somthing like Love and marriage, heck even your day to God. The biggest thing though is that he wants EVERYTHING, not just the left overs. He wants your heart, your soul, your mind, your body, everything inside and out to be for him. This is why it's so hard for so many of us to let go of the trivial things.

Let go of the need to be loved by nothing. If you fall in love with the soul mate God has chosen for you then so be it. But don't go wasting your time looking for the one, believe me it's pointless. I just reached that point in my life where I know whats in my heart, I know what God has told me, it's just in his hands for when it's to happen. I'm done, finished, and utterly exhausted. Give it to God once and for all, stop trying to hold onto it, it's not going to work.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2Corinthians 12:9

Here's a note from my journal last night. It was pressed on my heart and I needed to write it out.

"Take my hand and I'll walk with you. Your heart wasn't meant to carry this load alone. Give it away, it's not yours. Put your hope in me and I'll stand with you. Trust in my name and you will be free. I see all your pain and all the hurt that's inside. Pour it all out for my heart to see. I am right beside you in these desolate times."



Nick